Self Esteem 'Sale' - to the Universe - Because I'm Worth It

So the charity sale has been fun so far! Felt amazing. Then got listening to my "Think and Grow Rich" audio book and revisited a chapter where I'm reminded not to focus on charities or poverty. Well, I considered deeply, I did it with awareness that I wasn't focusing on charities or poverty, it was all about me practicing the Law of Attraction principles of giving away and receiving and I was focused on the joy of giving. However, I do notice, that it took a lot of time and my focus is still giving abundance not receiving it and I really want to move my attention to creating the life I really want and less on getting rid of the life I don't want.

After the initial buzz passed I realised, the buzz was from giving. Not from raising money for charity, but just from giving with no expectation of receiving money for what I was giving. How much of that time could I have instead spent on making new music, doing my online job, visualising my new life etc. if I'd just given it away quickly instead of launching a charity sale? I would still have the buzz of giving it away and less public attention and more time to create the life I want.

Although the sale isn't finished yet I've already achieved my goal:  to increase my faith in the law of attraction. Within hours of me launching the sale another buyer on the site who had already committed to a previous sale from me text me to say what a great idea and did I still want the trampoline I commented on a few weeks ago... the trampoline... well I never commented back as I had no money to buy and didn't even know if I'd be allowed to have it in our apartment building yard. She commented that instead of selling it she was happy to give it to me. How wonderful I said, but I have no way of even picking it up. Oh my husband will drop it off for you she replied. Wow. The trampoline was worth more than I had raised for charity so far. Ok  it was almost a direct return in that she saw me giving so she gave to me... so that doesn't test the theory in more abstract terms but it's a pretty nice instant hit of encouragement. And I think that is all I needed for this exercise.

I admitted I didn't even reply to her offer when she text me as I was confronted with feelings of not being worthy, or embarrassment at taking something for free. Or is it that I'm not worthy? My memory flicked back to a webinar I watched last week by Natalie Ledwell from Mind Movies http://www.mindmovies.com/ where she shared that of the ten top limiting beliefs people have, they often relate back to these three:
1. If I try I'll fail
2. If I do not one will want me
3. I'm not worthy
and I noted immediately scanned all my limited beliefs and it was painfully obvious that they all had their genesis in a deep seated belief that I'm not worthy (because I didn't grow up with a father who was there for me and showed his love for me). How bizarre. And what a rotten belief it is to have considering I'm here, a single mum so deeply committed to ensuring my son doesn't grow up without a dad or, growing up with the emotional baggage I had.  I need to toss this in a big hurry!

So with all these reflections in mind it occurred to me my house, full of 'stuff'  I have to sell for money meanwhile I'm tripping over them and not feeling free, just needs to be cleared, but I don't even feel worthy enough to get rid of stuff I don't want anymore.

There are things I can sell - but will take me considerable time and focus to do that - if I felt worthy I would just give them away and enjoy the buzz and know I will get whatever I need when I need it.

There are body products I've not touched for years since learning about their toxicity while they were in storage and I was adjusting to my new lifestyle of being a breastfeeding mother and reading books like "Chemical Free Kids" by Dr Sarah Lantz. So I don't want to use them on my body but I feel I can't throw them out... why? I'm not worthy. I'm not worthy of better products on my skin? Its more worthy to not be wasteful then to protect my child and myself from these toxic products? Wow. And I'm not worthy of having a home empty of these burdens from the past? Wow?

Epiphany.

So today, my approach changes. Today, the reminder of items not yet in the Charity Sale and all the products I just don't want to use on myself or my child are being given away or thrown out in the QUICKEST most time effective manner I can move them on with.

THIS, is my SELF ESTEEM SALE to the Universe.

Because, not only I am worth it, I'm also 'worth it' to receive anything I need in future in place of the things I'm giving away. And I can find away of giving them away without being wasteful so others can still take advantage of them and I haven't wasted time or focus giving them away. And for anything I put in the bin, I really don't want ANYONE on earth to use them, because, they are worth more too.

Much love to you all.